Mentoring Timeline

The first few months of the year can be some of the hardest as your Mentee and you are learning to feel comfortable together. It is however also a time full of possibilities as you will learn to know each other progressively and how you will function together (what you like, what is your availability, how and when to connect, etc). You will co-create a new relationship and be both participating!

At this stage, keep in mind that relationships take time to grow! The process is slow and you will both experience discomfort, as well as feeling like things can’t be rushed. If your interactions feel awkward at times, that’s okay! It typically takes about 6 months for people to truly feel comfortable with each other.

During those months, the best thing you can do is to be consistent and to continue to get to know your Mentee. For example, use open questions (questions that don’t sollicit “yes” or “no” answers) to help them open up about their life, what they like, their hobbies, etc. Be proactive in showing them that you are interested in knowing and understanding them better. Along the way, you’ll discover things you have in common!

Around month 4, you may start to feel challenged and question yourself or your qualities as a Mentor. While you both get to know each other more, a sense of closeness will start to develop, which can be intimidating for your Mentee and revive personal wounds. They may have faced abandonment or rejection before, so there may be a time when they pull away to protect themselves from getting hurt just in case you decided to leave.

• Be patient: your Mentee needs time to figure out their needs and their own sense of safety within your relationship.
  
  

• Be consistent: keep showing up to let them know you still care, are there for them, and understand their need for safety. They’ll need to know you will still be there once they’ll feel ready to re-connect.
  
  

• Pave the way: sometimes the best way to show your Mentee you are there is to be vulnerable first! One of our mentors said she knew the best way to get her Mentee trust them was to let them know that they had struggled too and wouldn’t judge their Mentee for anything they had experienced.
  
  

• Give yourself grace: remember that relationships are made of two, and if they withdraw that does not necessarily indicate the quality of your mentoring. The more consistent you are, the more your Mentee will feel supported and safe with you. You make a difference!

At this time of the year, trust should be established with your Mentee as you have learned to know each other and feel a safe connection. You are both halfway there! You will feel like developing a deeper bond and you should feel comfortable with each other.

Your Mentee may start to really open up about things that are difficult or particularly significant for them. They should also be actively working towards their personal growth goals. How have things changed from when you met for the first time? Regardless if the changes are big or small, take time to reflect on them and to celebrate together!

On your end, you may notice areas in which you have grown and would feel more confident with your role.

If things still feel awkward during this stage, connect with your MEA and they will support you.

This stage is the last of the program, and typically occurs during the last two months.

After being a part of your Mentee’s journey for such a significant time, getting close to the end of the program and graduating will be a perfect time for both of you to reflect on how much you have grown together. You may feel however tempted to slow things down or be less consistent in your interactions - make sure to not let that happen!

For your Mentee, this stage of the program may also be particularly overwhelming as there’s perspective for changes ahead. Be an open ear, listen to them as you always did, and make sure to create space so you can both discuss about your intentions after the program. Will you stay in touch or not? Any choice is okay and has to be discussed together.