Accepting Ourselves: therapist reacts to “Chop Suey” by System of a Down
My name is Taylor Palmby, and I’m a therapist. I’ve never listened to “Chop Suey,” but I’m about to hear it for the first time, analyze the meaning of the lyrics, and break down how they guide us to understand and accept ourselves and others. Let’s do it!
“Ah! Wake up (wake up)
Grab a brush and put a little makeup (a little bit)
Hide the scars to fade away the (Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup)
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table?
Here you go, create another fable, you wanted to
Grab a brush and put a little makeup, you wanted to
Hide the scars to fade away the shakeup, you wanted to
Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? You wanted to.”
It’s kind of unsettling.
It’s so interesting, it’s like an internal monologue:
“Why are you putting on all that makeup to hide your scars?”
“Because I wanted to.”
It’s that internal battle of judgment that we all have. In that judgment, you feel so alone.
This is a call to be understood.
“Chop Suey” shows you what happens when you don’t try to understand a person’s pain. You actually further alienate them. That is the part where he’s like, “father.” He’s crying out like, “someone help me, someone see me, someone understand my pain.”
This is a call to understand instead of judging them, further alienating them, and making them feel more alone. Or instead of judging yourself: “why do I feel this urge to self-harm? Why do I only feel beautiful when I put on my makeup? Why do I feel that suicide is the only option?”
Instead of judging that part of you that is doing an action out of pain, it’s a call to try to understand where that pain comes from. Because when we understand, when we come together, when we sit with ourselves in our pain or when we sit with other people in their pain, without judgment?
That is the only place where change can take place.
What we know is that when we’re alone, it’s much harder to make a change. It’s much harder to step out of that behavior. It’s easier when we have someone, or even ourselves, internally lifting us up. Saying, “I get why you would do this. I get why you would feel like this is the only option. But it’s not.”
So we are not endorsing any of that behavior, but we are saying that it makes sense.
It’s a call to remove our lens of judgment and instead place on our lens that says, if someone could do better, they would do better. Everything that this person is doing makes total sense given their set of circumstances.
And to sit in that together and then watch what happens.
Are you ready to join others in that place of acceptance? Join us on our support wall.
And if you want to see me get a little freaked out by another song, make sure to watch my reaction to hearing Slipknot’s “Duality” for the first time.
