BTS Program - Introduction
Everything you need to know!

Program Timeline

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The duration of this program is of 1 year, which means that during 12 months, your relationship with your Mentor will unfold and evolve in unique ways! Here are some of the typical “stages” that you may experience as you walk together.

STAGE 1: Beginning

Months 1-3

The first few months of a Match can be some of the hardest as you learn to get comfortable with each other. It is a stage that can feel particularly intimidating at first as your relationship is starting from scratch. It is however also a time full of possibilities as you will learn to know each other progressively and how to function together (boundaries, availability, how and when to connect together…). You will co-create a new relationship and be both actively participating!

At this stage, keep in mind that connection takes time to grow! The process is slow and you will both experience discomfort, as well as feeling that things cannot be forced or rushed. If your interactions feel awkward at times, that’s okay! It typically takes about 6 months for people to truly feel comfortable with each other.

The best thing you can do is to be consistent and to continue to meet with your mentee. Be proactive in connecting with them and showing that you are interested in knowing each other better. Along the way, you’ll discover things you have in common and will make you feel more and more close!

STAGE 2: Challenging

Months 4-6

Around month 4, the process can start to feel challenging.

While you both get to know each other and connect regularly, a sense of closeness will be more present. You will start to feel like you can trust your Mentor, which may feel intimidating and revive personal wounds.

If you have faced abandonment or rejection before, there may be a time when you would feel the need to pull away in order to protect yourself from getting hurt. Experiencing these conflicting emotions is completely understandable while you are in the process of learning to trust someone new in your life. It may feel like a risk to take and that you need time to feel comfortable with this idea.

If you experience fear, uncertainty or a need to withdraw during this season, we would encourage you to:

  • Be patient with yourself: it’s okay if you need time to figure out your needs and develop your very own sense of safety. Take as much time as you need to feel what needs to be felt.

  • Keep showing up: your Mentor will be consistent in reaching out to you and be there for you no matter what. They care about you and understand your need for safety. They will not judge you if you experience any level of fear or anxiety.

  • Give yourself grace: you are not failing in any way because you would be pulling away for a bit. On the contrary, your reactions would be profoundly human and this program is a safe environment to explore it. Sometimes we need space to reconnect with ourselves and the way we feel before we invite others in our life, which is yet another sign of growth.

STAGE 3: REAL Mentoring

Months 7 - 10

At this time of the year, trust should be established with your match as you have learned to know each other and feel a safe connection. Your Mentor and you are halfway there! In this stage, you will feel like developing a deeper bond and you should feel comfortable with each other. You may even feel like a real sense of friendship is now developed.

As a Mentee, you may start to really open up about things that are difficult or particularly significant to you. You should also be actively working towards you personal growth goals if you have set any. How have things changed from when you met for the first time? It doesn’t matter if the changes are big or small - they are all significant! During this stage, we encourage you to try to take time to reflect on your progress and to celebrate with your Mentor!

If things still feel awkward during this stage, make sure to also connect with your MEA and they will support you.

STAGE 4: Ending

Months 11 - 12

This stage is the last of the program, and typically occurs during the last two months.

After having a friend by your side for almost an entire year, getting close to the end of the program and graduating from it will be a perfect time for both of you to reflect on how much you have grown together. You may feel however tempted to slow things down or be less consistent in your interactions - make sure to not let that happen!

For you, this stage of the program may also be particularly overwhelming as there’s perspective for changes ahead. Feel safe talking to your Mentor about how you feel and you envision your future after this program. Will you stay in touch or not? Any choice is okay and has to be discussed together.

Remember: the stages mentioned above are an ideal representation, not an exact science.

In practice, things may evolve at a different pace. Your Mentor and you may need a longer time to feel safe with each other, or you may feel both comfortable very quickly.

The relationship that you will create together and the communication that you will develop remain absolutely unique. This timeline is meant to bring perspective on what type of relational growth you will both move towards, the direction you will want to reach together.

Not meeting a specific stage at a given time of the year does not mean you would be doing it all wrong! At the opposite, feeling stuck for too long in the earlier stages of this relational process is something you can bring up to your MEA anytime you need.

FAQ

  • Thats amazing! Your Mentor will reach out to set up a time for your first meeting. If you’re really excited, you can however totally be the first to reach out!

  • This is your journey. If you feel comfortable opening up to your Mentor right away, go for it! If you need some time to get to know them more, that’s okay too! Take as much time as you need. If you ever have any questions or concerns, you can reach out to your MEA or to our Community Manager at [email protected].

  • BTS is here to provide a mentor to walk side by side with you on your journey for one year. That being said, we are not a therapy or counseling service, so we are not equipped to prescribe you specific ways to improve your mental health.

    However, we encourage you to look at how you might be already growing as a person! Maybe before you met your Mentor, you were scared to talk to strangers, but you now find yourself talking to the local barista. Change can happen in small ways. Be as gentle and patient as possible with yourself on your journey.