Talking to addiction’s voice: Therapist reacts to “Sober” by Tool
The claymation in the music video is crazy, so you should definitely watch it. I feel like that must have taken so long.
“There's a shadow just behind me
Shrouding every step I take
Making every promise empty
Pointing every finger at me.”
”Sober” lyrics by Tool
That's a sober person, I feel, watching the shadow of addiction. That shadow is trying to get them to mess up, trying to get them to drink again, trying to get them to do drugs again. It’s trying to get them to do whatever that thing is that they're addicted to again.
It's so devastating and such a hopeless feeling, to have that shadow following you around. The addiction shadow is saying,
“Why can't we not be sober?
Why don't you just drink?
I just want to start this over
We can drink forever.I'm just a worthless liar
I'm just an imbecile
I will only complicate you.”
Those statements feel like things that addiction says to try to get you to fall back into addiction. I feel like this song does such a good job of pointing out the internal battle of someone who is trying to recover from addiction and the reality that there's often this voice, this addiction voice, in the back of your mind that tells you you are worthless. You are just an imbecile. You only complicate things. So just trust me. Just trust me and drink, because trying to be on this path of goodness is literally worthless because you worthless. You might as well just enjoy life while you have it. So just drink.
That internal battle is so strong, that back and forth. It can be so challenging to fight through. I feel like this song does a really good job of starting from the perspective of that sober person, recognizing that, “there's an addictive shadow right behind me, making every promise that I make empty and I hate it.”
Then it switches, and then you're hearing the addictive voice: “I'm just a worthless liar.”
Especially with alcohol, I hear this feeling a lot: “why can't I not be sober? Why can't I just drink and it not be an addiction? Why can't I just have this every once in a while, and it not be an addiction?”
I think in this song, it's that addictive voice being like, “it's so much better to not be sober. You're worthless anyway, so just give in.”
I love the way that this song perfectly highlights that back and forth. It really vulnerably, beautifully expresses the way that the pain inside a person brings back the desire to use, and how it is so hard to fight against that shadow. It can feel really hopeless at times.
What I really like is the fact that at the end of this song, it changes. That's the first little bit at the end where it gets actually heavy and kind of rock. I feel like we can use that. Instead of it being the addictive voice saying, “trust me, trust me, just use,” it can be that part of you that's rising up that doesn't want to use. It can be that sober part of you saying, “trust me, this path of sobriety is worth it.”
“I want what I want.”
What do you want for yourself? Who do you want to become? What dreams do you have, and how can you use this song to say, “trust me, this path of sobriety is the way that I get what I want.”
What do I want outside of this addiction? What dreams do I have for myself? Where do I want to be? What path do I want to be on? Who do I want to be?
We can twist it. Instead of it being that addictive voice, sing it from that other voice. Sing it from that place inside of you that starts the song, right? That says, “there's a shadow just behind me.”
This can empower that part to say, “trust me, we're on this path for a reason. Trust me, there's good things coming. I want what I want, and I want sobriety in my life because I know it is the way forward.”
If you feel like you are struggling with addiction and it is a fight and single day inside of your mind, share in the comments at our anonymous support wall and we will encourage you.
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