Sexual Abuse

If you are a victim of sexual assault we encourage you to go to a local rape crisis center as what happened is a crime. Their knowledge is extensive for options moving forward as is their counseling. 

What happened is not your fault

Even our founder is a survivor

jake-thinking-prayer

Sexual assault and abuse is a topic near and dear to Jake Luhrs. As a young child, and later as an adult, Jake was assaulted. It took years of processing, counseling, and sharing his story to begin helping others. Many people forget that statistically one in six men will be assaulted in their lifetime.

In his devotional, Jake shares openly about his journey and struggle.  Below we’ve provided the chapter on his assault for free.

What happened is not your fault

Even our founder is a survivor

Sexual assault and abuse is a topic near and dear to Jake Luhrs. As a young child, and later as an adult, Jake was assaulted. It took years of processing, counseling, and sharing his story to begin helping others. Many people forget that statistically one in six men will be assaulted in their lifetime.

In his devotional, Jake shares openly about his journey and struggle.  Below we’ve provided the chapter on his assault for free.

we also offer

7 days of free Counseling*

Sometimes the trauma of abuse and assault can cause secondary effects like PTSD. Our community is here to help you process, but should you need professional assistance, we offer seven free days through our online counseling partner, BetterHelp.

Like those old Hair Club for Men commercials, we don’t just endorse BetterHelp, all of our staff uses their online counseling to ensure they remain healthy and processing through their past as well.

better-help-hs-version

*if you purchase services from BetterHelp, a portion of those funds contributes to the mission at Heartsupport

You can also connect

with Our Community and share your story

We know that keeping secrets and burying pain rarely works when you’re dealing with something as serious as sexual trauma. This is why our Support Wall allows you to post anonymously and receive caring and encouraging replies from others who’ve gone through the same. We also run a live stream five days a week complete with moderators where you can talk with someone in real time through chat.

Want to Help? Here are some tips

How to Support Survivors of sexual abuse

Listen

Remember this isn’t your time to talk. If you plan to share something, be sure to always bring it back to the person sharing

Believe

Now isn’t the time to judge or search for evidence. Often, the most powerful thing you can do is to say “I believe you.”

Validate

Remind them whatever feelings they are having are valid. There’s no way they “should” be feeling after experiencing trauma.

Language

When speaking with someone who is sharing their trauma, it’s always best to mirror their language. Don’t use words the other person hasn’t used.

Example: Calling it assault when they use the word rape.

Power

Sexual violence is often not about sex, but power. Acknowledge that and provide the person you’re listening to the space to take their power back. You can empower them by asking for what they need from you during the conversation.

Example: a listening ear, advice, etc.

Less Questions

Avoid asking “why” questions or questions about the details of their trauma. Why questions may unintentionally cause the survivor to feel shame or at fault for what happened to them.

Example: Don’t ask “why were you drinking?”

Their Story

Remind whoever you’re speaking to that it’s their story. It’s their decision if they to share, when they share, what they share, and with who. There is no right or wrong way for a person to share their experience.

Video Encouragement from your favorite Artists

Lauren Kashan of Sharptooth shares about her assault

Garret Rapp of The Color Morale shares his story of abuse

Books We Recommend

Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault

rid-disgrace
  • I can't recommend this book highly enough. It helped me process my past.

    Jake Luhrs
    Jake Luhrs ABR, Founder of HeartSupport

Justin Holcomb is an Episcopal priest and sits on our board of directors. He also happens to be a leading authority on sexual abuse and assault. For years we handed this book out to men and women on Warped Tour and received numerous emails about how it helped.

rid-disgrace
  • I can't recommend this book highly enough. It helped me process my past.

    Jake Luhrs
    Jake Luhrs ABR, Founder of HeartSupport

Justin Holcomb is an Episcopal priest and sits on our board of directors. He also happens to be a leading authority on sexual abuse and assault. For years we handed this book out to men and women on Warped Tour and received numerous emails about how it helped.