Sometimes the trauma of abuse and assault can cause secondary effects like PTSD. Our community is here to help you process, but should you need professional assistance, we offer seven free days through our online counseling partner, BetterHelp.

Like those old Hair Club for Men commercials, we don’t just endorse BetterHelp, all of our staff uses their online counseling to ensure they remain healthy and processing through their past as well.

Remember this isn’t your time to talk. If you plan to share something, be sure to always bring it back to the person sharing

Now isn’t the time to judge or search for evidence. Often, the most powerful thing you can do is to say “I believe you.”

Remind them whatever feelings they are having are valid. There’s no way they “should” be feeling after experiencing trauma.

When speaking with someone who is sharing their trauma, it’s always best to mirror their language. Don’t use words the other person hasn’t used.

Example: Calling it assault when they use the word rape.

Sexual violence is often not about sex, but power. Acknowledge that and provide the person you’re listening to the space to take their power back. You can empower them by asking for what they need from you during the conversation.

Example: a listening ear, advice, etc.

Avoid asking “why” questions or questions about the details of their trauma. Why questions may unintentionally cause the survivor to feel shame or at fault for what happened to them.

Example: Don’t ask “why were you drinking?”

Remind whoever you’re speaking to that it’s their story. It’s their decision if they to share, when they share, what they share, and with who. There is no right or wrong way for a person to share their experience.