• Highway22
    January 2, 2017 at 11:45 pm #29912

    First of all my home life isn’t the greatest. It’s not bad but there are secrets or stuff not open. My parents are divorced and I live at both houses and stay 50/50. My mom is depressed and just not in a good mood. The nagging irotates me and her negativity and gossiping bothers me a lot too. It affects me because I am around it often.
    With my dad, I suspect him of cheating on his girlfriend of 10 years. I like her and that also bothers me. He’s very secretive and is constantly on his phone or laptop and I feel like an outsider whenever I’m with him.

    Meanwhole I’m dealing with my own issues and attempting to get rid of porn from my life. It’s a go-to stress relief but it is very bad for me and I’m well aware of it but I just can’t get rid of it for good. I went 40 days without is and can maybe go a week without it but I still struggle. Life is stressful because I work and go to school but those are normal stresses but these unnecessary ones are getting to me. Any input will help. Thanks!

    kylierann
    January 3, 2017 at 1:55 am #29915

    I don’t know how to help you with your family issues because I also relate. The only difference is they could care less if I was around or not so I just stay in my room all day generally. I genuinely hope your mom’s attitude improves and I’m sorry that you have to travel back and forth to both houses, which is a stress in itself. Maybe try and asking to spend some quality time together, just play a game or talk to her about how she’s feeling too. With your dad I completely understand and maybe also try engaging him into something for once.

    As for your porn addiction I’m with you on that. I’ve read the statistics and how it effects relationships and I just can’t seem to stop. Although I am really grossed out about sex in general there are certain times when I just.. have to watch it. And it does hurt my relationship. I’m not as open with my girlfriend as I should be if I watch it a lot.
    All I can say is that you’re strong and you can do this! And maybe try to masturbate WITHOUT the help of porn so your brain can release the intense dopamine chemicals without a visual stimulation. 🙂

    John Williford
    January 3, 2017 at 7:49 am #29919

    Yo highway22!

    Thanks for posting!

    Have you heard of XXX church before? We partner with them to help people struggling with porn like yourself, and it was instrumental in ridding me of the habit.

    Highway22
    January 3, 2017 at 5:43 pm #29926

    Thanks for both responses. They are very encouraging. Also I have not heard of XXX Church but I’ll look it up. I’m desperate so I will give it a try when I know what it’s about and how it works.

    frylfeishilfe
    January 3, 2017 at 7:42 pm #29931

    Hey unfortunately I can’t help with your homelife situation. However I was addicted to porn for 4-5 years and have been in recovery for about 2 months. What helped me was getting an accountability partner (which I only did because my mother forced me to, pathetic I know), I hate accountability partners, I really do, but it has helped a lot. Also I just came to a place mentally that I was just done with watching porn and sexting people and I was just sick of the whole 9 yards. And I was able to put a stake in the ground by telling someone (it happened to be a guy I was talking to at the time) that I was done with that life-style. Also, check out Fight the New Drug, they’re an organization that address the harmful effects of porn from a science point of view (but they’re still easy to understand). They also have a Fighter Club which is basically a rehab-like program from what I understand. Also I would advise you to get connected with a church, the only way that I have the strength to e recovering for 2 months is through the strength I have received from God. Also when you get the urge to watch porn, read a bible, or listen to a bible instead. Easier said than done trust me I know, but even if you aren’t religious, try it. I think you’ll be amazed at how much it can help. I’ll be praying for you man. I believe in you.
    Much love,
    Maddy

    Adam
    January 3, 2017 at 7:49 pm #29933

    I can’t offer much help with the home issues, but as far as struggling with porn, I get that. It’s common to struggle with that, and unfortunately it’s hard to escape from it. It’s good that they’re trying to get rid of it, and it’s okay if you stumble from time to time; but you shouldn’t let it drag you down when you stumble. Whenever I feel the temptation rising, I make sure to find something to distract me. I’ll find a video game, I’ll go outside for a walk, I’ll find a friend to talk to, I’ll read, and I’ll even pray to God. Usually the temptation comes when I’m alone, bored, stressed or sad; so as long as you get your mind off of it, it should go away. It’s gonna be hard though.

    I noticed that you said your dad is constantly on his phone or laptop; that’s rough. I’m bad with that at times with family or friends; but I’m working on getting better because I know that it bothers them. I’d just say that, if it is bothering you, and that you want to spend more time with your dad with real one on one time, you need to let your dad know how you feel about it; I would hope that he cares enough to put down the screen to spend some time with you.

    I hope that things get better, and I’ll keep you in my prayers. Stay strong, and hold fast. <3

    olcasers
    January 3, 2017 at 8:02 pm #29934

    Video Response: https://www.twitch.tv/heartsupport/v/111934043

    John Williford
    January 4, 2017 at 8:44 am #29945

    (DJ Mad Dog- Fighter Club? Sounds sick)

    Highway22- Yea check it out! XXX Church isn’t the end all be all to be sure, but it definitely helped me quit. There are other programs like, say, Safeeyes, that locks you out of visiting certain websites, but when that impulse comes you can figure out how to hack it. XXX Church lets you go literally wherever you want on the internet, but when you sign up it lets you choose accountability partners that will receive email notifications when you go there! So it’s not so much “locking it out” as it is “dragging it into the light”- which I super prefer when it comes to deeply-embedded addictions like porn. I put my mom as an accountability on XXX Church, and it cured me. Also remember- it will take some time. Porn creates and reinforces neural pathways in our brains that splice right into dopamine. Your brain knows that porn makes you feel awesome, so it tells you “Dude go do that again!” You’ve got to starve that out over time, and shut down those highways in your brain. It takes time but you’ll grow so much, and you’ll know what it’s like to starve out and overcome an addiction.

    Highway22
    January 5, 2017 at 9:45 pm #29970

    Thanks for the input. Over the past 2 days I’ve been struggling and I know I can only do so much myself. I’m willing to give my email out if anyone would like to be accountability partners as well as using outside sources and websites. So far I’ve blocked sites and gotten rid of any porn related possessions I own. I figure I could tackle my own issues first.

    John Williford
    January 6, 2017 at 8:51 am #29982

    Awesome- that sounds like a great start. Use our community for encouragement and know that you’re not alone!!

    kylierann
    January 9, 2017 at 12:33 am #30021

    Hey, I can be your accountability partner!

    Highway22
    January 9, 2017 at 11:24 pm #30042

    Cool my email is [email protected] if you’re interested

    John Williford
    January 10, 2017 at 8:11 am #30046

    Same- [email protected] if you need me

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