• Kangaskank
    September 11, 2017 at 4:50 pm #33791

    Well, this is my first time doing something like this, so I don’t really know how these things work but let’s hope this gets to something.

    Throughout my life I’ve dealt with Anxiety. I first noticed it in 2nd grade. I used to be terrified of going to school. It usually came and gone either the beginning of a new school year or around Christmas time. But recently it started to become worse. During my first two years of high school my anxiety never really was a problem so I thought to myself “Oh maybe I’m finally getting over it!” but then in my Junior year of highschool I had to switch to a credit recovery high school since my school had lost some of my credits. (It’s a long story about the credits but I won’t get into that) so that was a very stressful time. It was fine at first but then later on I started to crush on another guy (I’m bisexual and a male) and I had a crush on him for a long time and it affected me so bad to the point where I was constantly missing school and barely eating and I was just super depressed. I ended up confessing to him which was very difficult but I had the support of some friends who I’m so thankful for. But it was tough, he took it well but he said he doesn’t roll that way. After I got that out of the way it’s never been a problem. Now I’m in my first year of college, still crushing on this guy, starting a new journey in my life and for me it’s affecting me so much Mentally. I just feel like College isn’t for me but I don’t know any other alternative besides going to school than working a minimum wage job. So as of right now I’ve been so stressed out about what I want to do with my life. It’s made me depressed because I feel like I can’t get through this. I’ve had suicidal thoughts but I never went through with it because I was scared of the outcome. I just don’t know what to do. It’s like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

    September 12, 2017 at 9:09 am #33801

    Hi Kangaskank,

    Welcome to Heart Support!

    It can be hard to know what you want to do with your life, especially in your first year of college. I would give yourself some grace. New situations or experiences can seem very overwhelming at first, but once you get used to it, get into a routine, things may get better. If this is your first year, give it a couple of months to see if it just takes some getting used to. What do you mean when you say it’s affecting you mentally? Do you mean the stress of the school work?

    You aren’t alone. We are here for you.

    September 12, 2017 at 11:16 am #33804

    Yeah the work was just very overwhelming it’s nothing that I’m really used too. Sorry I should’ve been more specific on that.

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