BatgirlSeptember 13, 2017 at 11:02 pm #33835
This past year has not been an easy one for me. Since my birth i have suffered with kidney problems. I had a transplant and unfortunately lost that kidney for unknown reasons and had it removed. Ill admit it was not easy for me. That kidney saved my life so having it removed was the worst feeling ever. I felt like a part of me was missing and spiraled into a deep depression that i hid with laughter and smiles. Dont get me wrong i knew it would happen one day but that day came way too soon for me to mentally prepare myself. What i write now is what ive held in for an entire year. I have friends going through similar situations as i am but we rarely keep in touch and since graduating high school most of my so called friends stopped talking to me. They only contact me when they need something. I guess theyre not really my friends if they dont ask how im feeling despite the fact that they know about my problems. At this point i just need to tell someone anything i have to say because sometimes i feel alone in the world and like giving up. Im physically and mentally tired of it all. Ive contemplated suicide before because i felt like a burden to my family because they dont deserve to put up with all this medical BS. There are times where they tell me everything will be okay and get better. I smile through it and say im a happy person because what happens must happen for a reason right? But in reality im not happy im not okay. Sometimes i feel like theres a mystical entity out there that wants to make life hard for me. My family has no idea how i feel because they either brush me off like nothing or just wouldnt understand. Especially my dad. Hes never understood whats wrong with me. Never been to a doctors appointment with me and always tells me its all in my head that im not sick. Am i overreacting by blurting all this out? Im just so tired of bottling everything up i needed to let it all out.John WillifordSeptember 14, 2017 at 8:30 am #33840
Hey batgirl- nah you’re not overreacting at all. It sounds like you’re going through a rough period, and worse it sounds like the people around your aren’t doing much in the way of supporting you. Mind if I ask what you life situation is like? Are you in college or did you go another route? Do you live with your parents? Do you go to therapy or counseling?BatgirlSeptember 14, 2017 at 10:08 am #33841
Despite everything im going through i decided to go back to school. My parents are divorced so i live with my mother and her husband. I did go to therapy to help me cope with the depression and stuff but all that counselor would tell me was “just be happy youre alive” and to me that is not something you say to someone whos depressed. You cant just tell them to be happy. Ive learned to deal with it by taking up the piano again.BatgirlSeptember 14, 2017 at 10:32 pm #33864
Thank you for hearing me out. I’ve taken advice and asked my mother if we (my mother sister and i) could spend the weekend together just the three of us because i missed them and wanted to talk to them. They gladly accepted and i felt a weight being lifted.
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