bandloverJune 13, 2017 at 8:50 pm #32490
When I was younger I was tiny. I was happy with my body. I thought I was a princess. When puberty happened things started to change and thats when my weight started to increase. I think that I am fat. I dont like my body most of the time. I dont even take full body pictures in mirrors because Im that afraid to look at myself. My friends and sisters tell me I have a beautiful thick/slim body shape, but I dont believe them. My mother tells me that I need to lose weight. I assume that shes trying to tell me Im too big. If you compare me to both my sisters they are skinnier than me and they can lose weight fast. I cant do that because my metabolism is slower than theirs. I am always drinking water and I even get exercise from work. I even workout sometimes, but I just dont see any results. Dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having curves, but I just dont like mine. I want to starve myself to make me lose weoght faster.AVJRJune 13, 2017 at 10:24 pm #32493
Hi bandlover. It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry of how you feel. As a young man, I don’t relate to your problem. I don’t know how you look like, I don’t know how your body looks like, and I can’t encourage you to embrace your body. However, what I can say is that you are in a community who cares about you. You need to value yourself, and love yourself. I can guarantee you, there will be women who will comment on this post, and support you. Don’t beat yourself down. You are loved. 😌BreeBreeJune 14, 2017 at 1:32 pm #32495
It can be difficult to hear someone say nice things about us when we don’t see them for ourself. It can be normal to want to look a certain way, or to ‘lose weight’. However, I really want to stress that there are healthy ways of doing that, and then way of losing weight that are extremely detrimental to the way that our bodies work. Starving yourself, slows your metabolism down further/permanently, causes blood pressure issues, causes your body to deteriorate muscle tissue, and can permanently damage your gastrointestinal tract. Not to mention if you starve yourself for a long time, there are other negative consequences, such as, body hair thickening/darkening, and difficulties getting back to a normal/healthy eating routine/schedule. This isn’t meant to scare you, but to really outline that starving yourself, while it may seem like a good way to drop weight quickly, in the long run it really isn’t because it is almost impossible to maintain.
It seems like you aren’t necessarily unhappy with the way that you look – but your mother is telling you that you need to lose weight. Meanwhile, your friends and sisters are telling you that you look good! I think that as long as you are making conscious healthy decisions – there is nothing wrong with you, and nothing for you to be upset about! Are you eating balanced? Are you drinking plenty of water? Are you exercising regularly? If you are and you feel like you are doing things to be healthy – then you are doing well for yourself! I know that everyone can say nice things, and if one person says one negative thing, that is all you think about. But just try to remember, starving yourself is super unhealthy and won’t produce the results you want, not to mention there are people that care way too much about you to see you do that to yourself! Just make conscious efforts to be healthy, and if you do – you will start to feel better! Don’t focus so much on how you look, but focus on how you feel! You need to learn to love yourself, and you can do that through making healthy decisions for yourself, practicing yoga, meditating, telling yourself the things that you DO like about yourself, until you start to feel better about yourself! And, as always, we are always here to talk!
I hope you start to feel better, and start to feel more confident!
– BreeBreebandloverJuly 15, 2017 at 8:08 am #33057bandloverJuly 15, 2017 at 8:09 am #33058ashandisJuly 17, 2017 at 3:47 pm #33092
So before we even start I want to say to this person that they are beautiful no matter how they look. I personally struggle with this too. So I hope to be able to help a little. Family and friends tend to try and tell us what they want however, only we have the power to accept what they say. I personally have a parent who has told me I am fat and keep food from me because of that. But I have learned that my view is more important. My favorite quote is actually the really childish statement of “I am rubber and you are glue whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you”. I love it because it is a visual to show that it doesnt have to stick. So dont let what our society says about weight and stuff, let it roll of and not stick. I would say that find a small thing that you do like about yourself whether it is a piece that is internal like you are caring. Also know that go from there and build your self worth. No two humans are alike we are snow flakes. It is important to start thinking about that and know it you are not going to be able to be compared to anyone else because you are a snowflake and you are special for this person you are. God never makes a mistake and that is what I have been clearly shared in my life. Yes sometimes it is hard to see that he truly made us special at times but god wouldnt make you the way he wants you be. He loves you and in the eyes of god he loves you.
I would like to tell this person that throughout my life I have struggled with this area for a while and have found that until I can love myself I wont be able to hear what others tell me. It tore me to shreads to hear someone to say nice things about me. But now I have learned that until I do accept myself as a whole I am not going to be able to hear any positives. I just heard the negatives.
But overall please know that you in my eyes are worth loving and worth so much more. You are beautiful in my eyes and you deserve to know that.
AshTheeCrazyBethyJuly 17, 2017 at 5:12 pm #33099
I’ve also struggled with how I see my body and feel about it as well as let it affect who I am and my confidence. *hugs* You are beautiful no matter what others say. I don’t know if you believe in God or not but I do…and I strongly believe that He hand knit every since part of you and made you uniquely beautiful in your own way. There is only one of you made just the way you are on this earth. Thats freaking beautiful.
This world is full of imperfect people and unrealistic beauty standards. You don’t have to be tiny to be beautiful. Realistically, most people are not going to be tiny like children (or pre-puberty people). Most of us have curves. I am currently about 190lbs and really curvy. I admit, I still very much struggle with body image issue and my confidence…and accepting my body as it is but I am learning to see myself as beautiful. Sometimes beauty is within too.
Biggest thing, stop comparing yourself to those around you. You are you. No one else can be you. You ARE beautiful, loved, worth more than gold, and uniquely created to be you.
*more big hugs* You are loved here, accepted here, and everyone here believes in you. We also believe you’re beautiful. Good job sharing with us that you’re struggling with this. Hope something I said helped.
~Bethy <3Nate HilpertJuly 18, 2017 at 12:20 pm #33115
The irony of starving yourself is that you tell yourself, “I’ll be beautiful WHEN I’m skinnier.” This means, you’re teaching yourself to hate yourself now and believe you’ll love yourself later.
What happens as a result is that when later comes, even if you are skinnier, the only thing you’ve taught yourself to think about yourself is: hate myself now, love myself later.
So you could get skinnier and skinnier and skinnier, and you’d still hate yourself because all you know how to do is hate yourself now, love yourself later.
The solution isn’t to lose weight. The solution is to lose self-hate. The solution is to love yourself NOW. Loving yourself won’t keep you from healthiness or a type of body image you’re going for. Loving yourself doesn’t mean that you’ll just balloon up and gain 300lbs. Loving yourself has nothing to do with your body shape or type or growth or diet at all. Loving yourself has to do with your HEART…the most important part of your body. It has to do with your kindness towards yourself, your happiness, and your ability to receive love. You see, you can only accept as much love into your life as you believe you deserve. If you hate yourself, you won’t want to or believe that anyone else could love you either. So even if you’re trying to lose weight to be loved by others, if you hate yourself, you won’t be able to accept the love they might give you for yourself because all you know how to do is hate yourself now.
So the solution here, friend, is not to focus on your body at all. But it is to focus on your heart. The desires of your life are to be loved and to be lovely, and that won’t and can’t be achieved by changing your appearance. But it can be achieved by focusing on your own heart, learning to accept and love yourself NOW, and then receiving the love others have to give you too.
I know this answer isn’t as “sexy” as saying, yeah girl, just go for a diet, you’ll get there, keep trying. But I’d be deceiving you if I told you at the end of this road you’re on you’re going to find love. You won’t. It might be around you, and people might admire you and even love you, but you’ll never feel it. Because if the only feeling you have towards yourself is self-hate, then you’ll always feel alone and unloved, even if it’s not true. You have to take care of your heart first, because that’s where everything you’re seeking will come from.
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