• kolton.hastert
    August 25, 2017 at 9:57 am #33619

    i’m 18 years old. my dad passed away unexpectedly a month before my tenth birthday. his passing has made me so apathetic and i’ve attempted to take my own life a handful of times. everyday seems like the worst day. for about half of my life, i’ve felt alone. i’m so scared that i’m disappointing him.

    September 1, 2017 at 1:14 pm #33661

    Hey Kolton,

    I am sorry about your dad. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Sometimes feelings can get the better of us, even if they aren’t true. You aren’t alone. This community is here to listen and support you. Be the best you can be, in the moment, by just being you. That is enough. You are enough.

    September 11, 2017 at 6:24 pm #33792

    video response: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/174101898

    Want2B WatchingWaves
    September 24, 2017 at 12:10 am #33992

    I’m older, but I lost my dad recently. We didn’t get along get when I was a kid, but I ended up caring for him the last eight years of his life. I feel like part of me died when he died. He became my best friend in those last eight years, so I think I understand a little how you feel. I always feared that I wasn’t making him proud. I though my older sister and younger brother were so much better in his eyes. So how come I was the one doing the intense care at the end of his life? Good question. I think he thought I had the time, I was ” only” a teacher. My sister is a priest and my brother is career military. All I can say is I hope my patience and care in the end helped bridge the gap. Since he died I’ve done a stint as an inpatient in the mental health unit – nothing seemed worthwhile. If I really think about though, I’d disappoint him if I didn’t take care of myself. Your dad would probably feel the same. Be good to yourself. It’s hard, but you deserve happiness just as much as everyone does…I know that sounds silly, people have told me that and I think they are crazy. I often feel worthless. We aren’t worthless! I’m sure you are making your dad proud in ways you can’t imagine yet. In those last eight years my Dad told me things that I’d done that I didn’t think he could remember. (Dementia). He was proud, I just never felt it. Your dad is too. And one day, years from know, I hope you have a son or daughter and you can understand how happy a child can make you just by being.

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