Why I quit chasing a reckless lover

I quit my job today.

I’m a freelance writer, so the correct thing to say is I quit one of my jobs, but it was my biggest contract, and today, I let it go.

I didn’t want to at first because the money was good, but mostly, I didn’t want to because I’d have to face a tough reality that I’m not the great journalist or editor I thought I’d be by now. In fact, I’m not even close, and I knew that if I let that job go, I’d be cutting ties with my dream career even more.

I’ve been working as a journalist since I was in college. I took a job when I graduated at a strong and well-regarded newspaper, but then I got married and I had to quit that great job. When I left, people said, “Oh now, you can write your book. Now you have time.”

I nodded and smiled. Instead, I started applying for reporting jobs because I knew I could be somewhat successful at that.

I wasn’t.

The market where we had moved was different, and I was rejected over and over again. After a while, I took a freelance gig with a weekly newspaper. I stayed nearly two years for the wrong reasons.

I love the news business. I love the smell of newspaper ink and the rush of deadline, but I’ve been chasing a reckless lover, and today, I’m slowly stepping back from it because it’s going to ruin me.

Because I crave success more than I crave satisfaction.

I crave front pages more than I crave peace.

I will always respect the news business, but I made it about me. I didn’t want to quit at first. I didn’t want to let go of a sure thing, but I was in it for all the wrong reasons. I stayed too long because it was safer than writing blogs like this. It was easier than writing my book.

I ignored that voice in my head, that gut feeling, that whisper from God, and my prayer is that you won’t make the same mistake.

Maybe it’s time to let something go in your life. Maybe you’ve been holding onto something for the wrong reasons. Maybe you’re keeping your boyfriend because it feels good. Maybe you’re staying in that major because it’s safer. Maybe you’re drinking because it’s easier. Maybe you’re craving something more.

You’re not alone in your fear that you’ll forfeit something good for nothing. I know that worry well. In fact, I’ve had the most trouble writing this blog because I’m still unsure if I’m the right person to be writing about this.

You were made to chase God-sized dreams, and whatever that looks like, sometimes it means letting other things go.  Sometimes it means quitting the things that drag you back.

So I’m challenging you to quit today, to drop the ropes you’ve been clinging to, and, instead, hang onto the hope of something better.

  • Geert

    That seems like a bold move. I’m all for taking risks and chasing your dreams, you know. But quitting your job, just because you feel like you should chase your dreams.. I don’t know if I would do that so quickly. Especially if that job was my main source of income. But I don’t know your situation, and you are only able to show a tiny fragment of the whole picture. I have to commend you for your courage, though. I really do hope that chasing your dreams is working out for you. God bless.

    Oh, and by the way.. I’ve loved every single blog post you’ve written so far. Keep them coming, ’cause you’re doing great. I’ve commented on every blog post I’ve come across and that makes me feel like I’m a bit weird.. But so be it. If being weird means being able to encourage someone, I’ll be weird.

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