Three Truthful Encouragements for Someone Struggling with Suicide

The timing of tragic news is so unpredictable. When it comes, it changes everything. Memories spiral through our minds. Regrets surface in our stomachs. Sadness floods our hearts. We want to say the things we didn’t say and do the things we didn’t do. Hold them close. Hear their laugh. Watch their smile.

3128323704_07892945f9http://www.flickr.com/photos/kam/3128323704/

Death isn’t an easy thing to think about. For those of you who are mourning today, we sit in the sadness with you. We hold this space together for the loved ones who aren’t with us anymore and for the ones we know are suffering.

(We want to hear your story. We have a place on our site where you can do that here.)

For you who are considering ending your life, I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve tried everything to shake. I’m so sorry that this might be the first time you’ve heard someone say they’re sorry. I’m so sorry that you’ve been unnoticed for too long.

As we turn our thoughts to you, I just want to say that we don’t pretend we know what you’re going through or what’s been done to you. We don’t pretend to know the exact way you feel. We don’t pretend that we know the right answer for you. What we do want to offer is encouragement because maybe you could use some of that right about now. Here are three things we believe to be true about you and why we believe them. I pray they give you hope and comfort wherever you’re at in this moment.

YOU MATTER BECAUSE YOU WERE CREATED WITH WORTH.
You’re absolutely beautiful. You’re so strong. Stronger than we know. Daringly resilient. You were created for greatness, and you have everything it takes. You’re good enough exactly the way you are right now. Your presence is noticed. We smile as you smile because you’re delightful. You are lovable. Your hands create wonderful things. Your ideas are brilliant. Your input is needed. Your voice is worth hearing. You are wanted. You are needed. You are unique. You matter. You’re worth so much to us.

And even though we might not know you, we know all these things to be true about you because there is a God who created you beautifully. And we aren’t ashamed of one bit about who you are. Every piece fits perfectly with the other. You are a masterpiece.

YOU’RE NOT ALONE BECAUSE WE’RE WITH YOU.
We understand that you feel alone in what you’re going through. We did too. And even though we haven’t gone through the same thing, a lot of us have felt something similar. Hurt, neglected, stupid, insignificant, worthless, hopeless, empty, and alone. But we found that even when we felt our worst, someone else was going through it with us. And we know that’s true about you too because we’re here. With you. For you.

And there is a God whose love you can’t outrun. And even in the things you wished undone, He sees you. He knows you and accepts you right here, right now. He promised to be with you wherever you go. And even when you can’t feel Him close, you’re not alone because He’s with you too. For you too.

YOU’RE NOT INVISIBLE BECAUSE WE WOULD MOURN YOUR LOSS.
Even though I hadn’t talked to a friend of mine in months, my whole world stopped when he attempted suicide. My heart caved, and I immediately searched for ways I could reach out to him. Talk to him. Comfort his family. Be there beside him. Let him know what I’m telling you because he matters to me. And so do you.

We may not know each other, but I want the opportunity to because you matter. Because I know that you’re amazing, and I want to tell you why I think that. Because you’re not alone. You are not a burden.

Share your story here.

What do you need? How can we be with you in this?

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Showing 7 comments
  • Jordan
    Reply

    Thanks Nate. I’m struggling with my faith but these words hold a good purpose

    • Nate Hilpert
      Reply

      absolutely, Jordan 🙂 tell me more about your struggle with faith

      • Jordan
        Reply

        Sure. I’ve fallen in and out of faith. I’m lost. My struggles with addiction have left me in the hospital. My struggles with love have left me scarred and yet god is with me through all of this? I’m 17. Have been through the court system, detention, and now rehab. Through this suffering, I am still god’s creation? I can’t remember the last happy moment I had that wasn’t an artificial high. But it would be selfish to talk just about myself. What about the struggles I’ve watched others endure that are much worse than mine? Should I be thankful that it isn’t me? Hundreds of kids in this system repeating the same offenses and mistakes over and over again. There is no salvation in these motions. No one escapes it. I see the select few that have “found” god. Have found the path he designed for them. Have found their “identity through him”. Then I see the multitudes of suffering. Of those who know nothing other than the pain they’ve become accustomed too. I just can’t begin to wrap my head around it. I can’t decide if i should be on my knees praying or cursing to the grave. I’m not putting down faith. Just everything in life gives credit to a much harsher reality without purpose or meaning.

        • Nate Hilpert
          Reply

          Yeah dude, I think it makes sense why you would feel that way. It’s like…look around dude–you think some good God is loving me here? Doesn’t make much sense when you look at it like that for sure.

          You know something that’s interesting about God? He loves you so much that He lets that happen. Lol…just typing that sounds strange. Hear me out…

          If He were to dictate everything we did, He’d be a controlling God. If He were to dictate only some of the things we do, He wouldn’t be fair–why this and not that? Instead, He gave us free will. He gave us free will because if He chose things for us, we could never truly love Him. We wouldn’t know whether it’s Him forcing us to or not, and neither would He. He gives us the option to walk away from us so that we have to choose to want Him.

          To some extent, when we ask, “Why, God, why?!” I feel like we should be asking instead, “Why did I? Why did you? Why did they?” Many times the crap that happens in our lives is something we brought on ourselves! For me, I decided to watch a lot of porn and play a lot of video games, and that’s something that swallowed me. I found myself asking, “Why, God, why?!” when it was something I chose to do. Now, of course, a natural question about that is what about things people didn’t have control over. Well, most cases other people made a choice–on the free will that God gave them because He’s not controlling–to do wrong.

          Of course, it’s easier to blame God than it is to blame the person who actually did the wrong. And I think that’s OK because God can handle it. At the same time, I think you could benefit from asking a different question…instead of asking “WHY, GOD?!”, ask Him, “Where are you in this?” Ask Him to show you what He wants you to see. Lean into Him with your questions, frustrations, anger, etc.

          Here’s my story of what I did when I didn’t believe in God:
          http://heartsupport.com/blogs/doubting-in-the-shower-college-journey-with-faith/

          I don’t think there’s an easy answer. You know, if you choose to keep going the path you’re taking it sucks. And it’s just going to keep on sucking–at least that’s the way it looks from the way you described to me. Even though pursuing God has a lot of conflict you have to face–like trying to piece together all of these confusing and frustrating things–there’s hope for more and better.

          Either way, you’re accepted and welcomed by Him, and you’re accepted and welcomed by us. This is your journey, and we’re here to walk with you wherever you decide that will take you.

  • Kierra
    Reply

    I think this blog gets more and more encouraging the more I read it! Thanks Nate!

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