I just wanted someone to pick me. I felt like the awkward teenager at the school dance nervously crossing and uncrossing my legs on the sidelines— only I wasn’t a teenager. I was in college, and I was tired of being single.
I know I was still young then, but it felt like all the women around me had a dashing finance major with their arms around them, and I was a little frustrated. There are so many voices telling singles to find contentment in being single, to be patient, to wait. Only, a lot of those words weren’t what I wanted to hear as a single woman.
So I stopped waiting. I stopped being the girl kicking her feet in a chair at the dance. I quit sizing up men in my classes and especially at church where I was sure my future husband was at, helping the youth, leading a bible study or saving the world.
I lived my life— without the single label shadowing over me. I ate pancakes at 1 a.m. with my friends. I wrote madly. I worked hard in my classes. I unashamedly took long study breaks with my roommates, and in all that, I realized I was happy. I hadn’t been looking to find contentment. I had just been looking to live my life.
Single women, you don’t have to wait on the perfect man to start living. God isn’t waiting to move in your life. He’s working now, which means you have the right to live your life now.
Romans says that, “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
We weren’t created to be just wives and girlfriends. We were created to be God’s daughter. Singleness isn’t a place for waiting. God’s work and plan for you starts now no matter what your relationship status is. I had to realize that God wasn’t working through my singleness to just make me a better wife. He was working to make me his.
I’m happily married now, but the purpose hasn’t changed. I’m still being molded and chipped at in order to become the woman God wants me to be, and it happens in singleness too. I had to stop seeing singleness as a phase “to get over.” God isn’t going to let those years go to waste in waiting. His word says he works with purpose today and now in you.