Happy Birthday to the Ground
It was my brother’s birthday cake, and the entire loaf took a nosedive from my wife’s lap onto the passenger side floorboard of our car. It landed without hesitation in one proud “splat”. My wife [...]
We’re All Still in High School.
“Apparently the new fad is who can take the best nude photo.” She says the word “nude” like the internet meme, “newd” “Excuse me?” “Yeah, [...]
Snake Oil and Holy Water
A few months ago I had dinner with Ron Jeremy (for those who don’t know, I HIGHLY recommend not googling his name. In short, he’s one of the most well-known porn actors of the modern [...]
You Trying to NOT Sin is Selfish
Back in elementary school, Perry was the kid who tucked in his shirt the full 360 degrees. So far down that if he wasn’t wearing long pants, his shirt might stick out the bottom of his shorts. [...]
Sincerely, Ego
Dear Nathaniel, When you saw him in your rearview mirror and thought otherwise, you were wrong. He flipped you off. And again when you drove past him and he cursed at you, he did then too. And [...]