Ask Jake Anything – What do you do when you feel low?

[dropcap1]Q:[/dropcap1] Jake, when you feel at your lowest, what do you do to bring yourself back up?



When I am at my lowest, chances are I’ve done something stupid. It’s because of my own personal expectations or standards of “Who Jake is” or “Who I’m supposed to be” that I end up whipping myself on the back and shaming myself with the guilt of having not done the “right” thing. Most of the times I reach a low in life because I can’t comprehend what is really happening around me. I make a mistake and because of that mistake I want to correct myself but a lot of times I do that by shaming myself. If I were to really take a step back and analyze what I did and why I did it and where it comes from I could then get a better grasp on what needs to happen in order to fix the issue.

I’ve learned that I am a broken dude; a messed up one that doesn’t have the solutions to the problems that are within the walls of my own heart. We as people are reactors and the reasons we do things all come because of something we’ve seen, done, or heard around us; we are a product of our surroundings. I think this is why God speaks about idolatry so much as a sin but not just a sin against Him but also against ourselves.

For example: You were raised by an alcoholic father? Statistics and studies from psychologists and researchers show there’s a good probability that you’ll be prone for alcoholism. Were you raised in a very argumentative home, one with yelling and screaming? If your parents lacked grace and forgiveness for one another chances are you’ll end up doing the same with your significant other because you learned that growing up.

When we do these things we get angry with ourselves because we are doing exactly what we don’t wish to do. Funny enough, our friend Paul in the Bible has the exact same issue as he explains in Romans 7:15 that “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” So we have it in us to want what is pure, right, and good. Yet just like Paul we struggle and do the things we don’t wish to do and so we end up suffering by feeling ashamed of what we’ve “become”. When I get to this point, when I’m thinking to myself “Damn it Jake, you’ve done it again.” I know that I need to go to my faith.

I go to the God that has created me, the One that I know isn’t full of pride, resentment, selfishness and that I need to ask Him for forgiveness. I’ve come to the understanding that if I believe that Jesus died on the cross and all of my sins are washed away then I am blameless through the eyes of God because of my faith in Christ. This shows me that I should not beat myself up because if I do then I am just undermining the cross. I’m basically saying that His sacrifice on the cross wasn’t strong enough to cover the faults and sins in my life and that I must reprimand myself for my sins. So in a sense when I beat myself up I am contradicting my own belief system. What does that make me do?

It makes me see God with awe of what He has done and brings me yet again closer to Him because of how huge His love is for me. It makes me want to follow Him even further and deeper in building that relationship. Once again I can’t even correct my wrongs or redeem myself from what I’ve done. God does it and it is His grace that carries me through the hard times and His mercy and everlasting redemption that drags me through even the worst of times. He did what no one else could have done by dying for my sins and He is still beside me wanting me just as much as He did before I do something stupid.

So, to answer your question, when I am at my lowest I remind myself of the greatness of God and what He has done to finish my sin. I have the gift of Christ and because of that I am forgiven and am not my own to judge or redeem. I have to ask for forgiveness and for His help to heal me, guide my heart, strengthen my mind, give me wisdom and grace to change my mind on how I view myself and the situation, and how to move forward in His grace and wisdom rather than relying on my own. Remember Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

 I hope this answers your question. Thanks for sending it into Heart Support and God bless you.

Jacob L.

Showing 4 comments
  • april

    I grew up without my mom in my life, my dad never being was hard and as I grew up my family and random people Call me emo, saying that I should just kill myself.. saying that I’m nothing but a piece of crap. I started cutting when I was in the sixth grade, but nobody knew. To this day I still do it because I belived when as everyone has been saying about me, I can’t fall asleep by myself I have to cry myself to sleep most of the time. I think way two much about everything… I know that there isn’t such thing as being perfect but I wish I was… my family all calls me a slut just because I have more guy friends than I do girls… two years ago I tried to commit and I ended up in the hospital for a few weeks, I was scared an and I didn’t know what to do.. I prayed everyday but I ended up thinking that God was just a fictional object… because he never helped me… I tried and I tried to stay calm but the day I came home from the hospital my family again started calling me names, talking crap about my mother.. I started getting piercings and than my family even began calling me emo, an attention whore…at that point I didn’t know what to do… I was lost, I tried getting help but they were even started saying that it’s all my fault,I could have chosen a better life…. but could I? Guys I need help I’m still thinking about committing… I feel lost… I feel lonely… I’m embarrassed about everything about me I have anxiety and depression and it seems like nothing I do helps, help…. :'( please!!!

    • Megan Wolf

      Hey April!

      First of all, I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to deal with over the years. It sucks not to have encouragement, but I am here to tell you that you are so much more than what you’ve been told. You’re a beautiful child of God. Sometimes, it’s hard to feel his presence in those hard times. I had a time in my life where I was in jail, and it was really difficult to feel him because I had people in positions of authority saying similar things to me, and calling me horrible, horrible things. I was so lost, and I was at my absolute end. I picked up the bible I was given, and literally opened up to Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Having the faith that God was there, even when I couldn’t feel him was what I needed. I had to have faith and hope that He was going to see me through this, even when there were times where it didn’t feel that way.

      Take that to heart, April. God is there, and he cares about you. He is taking care of you, and loving you even when it feels like he isn’t there. He knows your worth, and he had big, awesome plans for you.

      If you want to talk more, please feel free to email me! My email is [email protected].

      Praying for you, sister.

    • Chelsea G

      Hey April!
      That is just really crappy of someone to tell you, you are a piece of a piece of crap, and to go kill yourself. Let me just say, I am happy that your first attempt was nothing more than that, because you sound like a girl that will one day offer something to world, and now you still have a chance to.
      God has not abandoned you, April. He is with you now, and has always been with you. HE LOVES YOU. You know why your first attempt was not successful? Because it was not time for you to return home to your Father. By Him having His hand on your attempt, HE did not allow it to come to pass. HE said that you are not done living on this Earth, because you still have His work to do, which you one day will do.
      Besides having God there for you, first and foremost, you also have those of us here on the HeartSupport team. Keep coming back, April. Respond and let us know what is going on. Keep us informed so that we may help you the best we cn, and let us know how we can help you, because WE want YOU to LIVE, as does GOD.

    • Michelle Naef

      I honestly want to tell you that you are not emo, a piece of crap, or anything else that your family and other people have told you. You are beautiful, wonderful, talented, and have many other gifts that God gave you. God is there for you in any time of the day. He is your Father, and has his arms open to embrace you in a hug whenever you need him, and will never abandon you. You are not anything negative of what your family calls you. Do not believe what they say, because you are awesome! Personally, I was brought down my whole life by the people I went to school with, which led me to think that I wasn’t good enough for anything. It led me to a lot of negativity and self worth issues, which is something I am actually working on at the moment. You are worth it. You have an amazing future! Always believe in yourself! Always have courage! Try praying, reading the Bible, and see where it takes you! I hope you will be okay! I believe in you and will be praying for you!

      God Bless,
      Michelle Naef

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