• cananjones1028
    September 12, 2017 at 1:03 am #33795

    I’m starting to wonder who would miss me if I was gone. I know my mom would but she’d be better off without me. This all sounds cliche but I feel it’s true. I mess up alot. I cause her alot of pain. I have no siblings no kids no girlfriend no pets no nothing. I’m contemplating taking my life, for a good reason that I can’t talk about but I assure you it’s a good reason. I let my loneliness get me into a very bad situation. Anyway I’ve had suicidal thoughts before but now they’re so much worse. If the outcome of this certain situation I’m in isn’t favorable I think I’ll have to go through with it.

    AVJR
    September 12, 2017 at 1:57 am #33796

    @cananjones1028
    I encourage you to watch this music video, and I hope it speaks to you. 😌

    John Williford
    September 12, 2017 at 9:01 am #33800

    Me. I would miss you.

    No, I don’t have any idea who you are, where you live, or what you’re doing. But there are two stories that I’ll get to tell people about this thread. One is a horrible story where I hold my head in my hands and wonder what more I could have done. Another version is a triumph, and a testament to you strength and willingness to live on. I want to tell the second story, not the first one. And if you’re not here to help me tell it, I’m definitely going to miss you and what could have been.

    – John

    NomadicWanderer
    September 12, 2017 at 9:29 am #33802

    Cananjones,

    Keep holding on. It may seem difficult, probably even pointless right now. But you never know what the future holds unless you live it.

    I had suicidal thoughts for many years, but it was towards the end of middle school and high school that it was at its worst. I think back to that hopeless time in my life through now (I’m 34). I stand in awe of everything I would have missed out on, the adventures life has taken me on, if I had given up. Back then, I never could have imagined how my life turned out. Never.

    You mentioned that your mom would miss you, but she’d be better off without you. When we are sinking in the depths of despair, our minds tell us things that aren’t true. We just can’t see that because we are buried beneath the depression and pain. In my own life, in the midst of depression, I’ve believed lies. I was buried in despair, and I couldn’t see things clearly. Can you be open to the possibility that this is the case for you?

    Don’t give up. Your life has value. You were created for a purpose.

    cananjones1028
    September 12, 2017 at 9:32 am #33803

    I would be honest with you guys but I’m afraid to say what’s going on. I’m in some legal trouble and I might be going away for a long time.

    John Williford
    September 13, 2017 at 9:04 am #33817

    Can you tell us while being very vague? You know we’re confidential here and your anonymity won’t be broken.

    cananjones1028
    September 13, 2017 at 10:12 am #33824

    No I can’t.

    OmiTheOmi
    September 13, 2017 at 5:02 pm #33829

    I’m not posting this to tell you a way to get out, A way to see through the other side of suicidal thoughts, or the struggles you don’t wish to talk about; life isn’t a linear, and I have come to understand that factor:

    However, I cried my eyes out while reading your post, because In all honesty, I am in the almost exact situation as yourself. Life seems to be falling down, and down and down, and a way out keeps on getting further away, there are barely any times of exhilaration or even a slight moment of happiness. I’m balancing so much, whether they be my anorexia, my depression, my struggles with studies, and my strive for perfection.

    My parents shout at me, because I simply can’t eat, can’t sleep, or don’t study enough…my twin sister has almost stared that she has had enough…so In all honesty, I don’t see who will miss me. I ask myself however, why the hell am I still here?

    I guess its that we have to remember…that we’re both still here, through whatever shitty situation we are currently pushing through. I’m in a situation where I could either end up over working myself, putting myself in hospital, leaving home…or turning to suicide. I struggle to see the good, but I ask myself, why am I still here?

    Maybe, just maybe…because life believes that I am strong enough to continue, and maybe life wants to show you that you are strong enough, within the weird and hardly wonderful way it works…lets face it, life is a cunt.

    I can’t give you a secret to surviving these hard times, but reaching out I know is one of them…

    I can say stay strong <3

    olcasers
    September 13, 2017 at 5:12 pm #33832

    Video Response: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/174556495

    veggiebeanie
    September 15, 2017 at 11:50 am #33879

    I would miss you. We would miss you.

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