• Mauro
    April 14, 2017 at 7:27 pm #31578

    I guess by now its been around 5-6 months since i had to breakup with my girlfriend. It is clear to me that i cant and dont want to go back with her and she was not doing me any good, but why do i still dream about her? why do i still fell sad sometimes that she is gone? I thought i had overcome this but it seems that for the past month memories have invaded my mind and i have felt very sad about it. Is what im feeling disappointment? failure? loneliness? I have no one to talk to about this and i dont want to feel this way, i’d like to be able to overcome this breakup but it seems to drag me back in.

    IAmCassie
    April 16, 2017 at 7:29 am #31598

    Hey Mauro!

    I think when we get over someone, it doesn’t always mean completely. I think there can still be parts of our heart that wants the best for them and care about them so when something reminds us of them our mind goes to that person. And healing from heartbreak isn’t necessarily straightforward. I know for me one day I’d be awesome and then the next day I’d be sad again. Healing from heartbreak is slow and it’s okay to feel how you feel. You have realized that it’s best to be apart, which is good, but I think there is still some healing to be done. If it makes you feel better it took me like a year to get over my ex. So do not feel ashamed or anything for still feeling sadness in your heart. Just keep staying strong. Maybe even plan for a day out with your friends or family when you feel extra down that day. Friends/family make a world of difference when it comes to healing from a broken heart. Hold Fast. We believe in you!

    cananjones1028
    April 16, 2017 at 11:38 pm #31607

    It’s always the ones who are no good for us that hang around in our minds. I’ve had a couple of girls haunt me for awhile. But you know you don’t need to go back to her again which is good. Hopefully it’ll stay that way.

    Mauro
    April 18, 2017 at 3:33 pm #31625

    Thanks for the replies guys, it means a lot.

    I think i just feel like im failing if i still feel sad sometimes about her not being what i thought, or her not being here anymore. I’ve been trying very hard to look after myself with classes,work and music/podcast projects that have given me something to look for each week. But i feel like even now I still get this sense of loneliness,like something is missing but i know for a fact that what is missing is nowhere near the kind of person i want to share my time with, its strange, to care about someone while knowing its not right for you.

    Funny enough, i posted this a couple of days ago,and today i received a text from my ex,she hadn’t texted me since we broke up and all she wants is to get some of her stuff back that she didn’t pick up when she left. Honestly i dont want to see her and i’d be glad if she picked her stuff when im not home cause i fear i’ll cry or say horrible things to her. Maybe im afraid i cant let her go for good, and im gonna be stuck like this for a long time.

    Nate Hilpert
    April 20, 2017 at 2:33 pm #31658

    Mauro,

    Yeah dude sucks to feel like your head has moved on and your heart’s still stuck. It’s like, major internal misalignment and crisis. You wish you could just throw these emotions away and move on with your life, but you just don’t know how, and it’s making you feel like you’re a failure for still holding on when she’s very clearly moving on.

    And dude, I remember being haunted by the thought of my X when we broke up…it was like everything around me reminded me of her…the decorations in my dorm, the background of my phone, pictures I had, posts on social media, friends and relationships I had made, memories, places, and just random thoughts that all pointed me back to her….and for a while I felt that same stuckness — it felt like it was this impossible vortex that I was sucked into and couldn’t get out of…but one day, I just made a snap decision that I was going to cut her out of my life — I couldn’t take it anymore…my room haunted me, my Facebook haunted me, my phone haunted me…evrything just screamed of her, and I needed it to stop. So I took down all of the decorations. I blocked her on Facebook. I changed the background on my phone. I did everything I could to cut her out of my life, because what I realized is a lot of the pain I experienced was because I had so many reminders of her, ya know? I just needed to cut out the reminders, so I could focus on other things in my life, so I could move on too. Hard to move on when you’re still tied up to the same spot, ya know?

    I’d recommend the same for you, bro. In every way you can, cut her out of your life — block her on socials, on your phone, delete photos, remove her old belongings, things that remind you of her, change it, erase it, delete it, throw it away, box it up, do whatever you need to do to feel like your life is anew, separate, fresh, no longer tethered to her, and you’ll start to find your thoughts moving on and your heart following.

    Best of luck bro.
    -Nate

    Mauro
    April 25, 2017 at 3:17 pm #31714

    Thanks for teh reply Nate, definitely trying all of that. Although a sudden surprise has amde it the more difficult, my ex inlaw started to work in the same company and same dept i am. Like what are the odds?

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