• Kevingrant3388
    March 18, 2017 at 11:56 pm #31124

    So this week has been really hard and bad for me. I’m supposed to find different ways to cope with my problems and I haven’t found anything. Apparently I guess my ways aren’t really helping me since with what happend. I wasn’t really able to talk to anyone because they’ve been busy traveling and everything. I feel so alone. Then all day today it’s been just about the worst one this week. I’ve been trying to talk to them and was just thrown off. I’m so mad at myself.

    Nathanael
    March 20, 2017 at 3:55 pm #31135

    Hey Kevin,

    That really sucks man. When you’re trying to find ways to cope but nothing seems to be working, and then just be thrown off when you try to talk about it. That’s rough.

    One thing that I’ve found can help when I can’t speak to anyone who don’t know how to handle what I’m dealing with is to write. Sometimes writing your thoughts down makes it easier to get your head around and lets you think more clearly. You could start writing a journal, get a note book to record your thoughts or come and share your thoughts on here. It won’t make all your problems disappear but it might just help you a little bit and help you cope.

    We’re always here to talk to when you feel like you can’t talk to anyone else or can’t seem to get the words out. You’ll always have a family here that love and care about you. Always here to listen.

    Hold fast, we believe in you.

    With care,

    -Nathanael

    MaddieBianca
    March 20, 2017 at 5:25 pm #31143

    Hey there, we are here if you want to talk to us. You are not alone in the struggles you are facing. If you don’t mind me asking, what are you trying to find healthy coping methods from? We are always here to here what you have to say. Remember you are loved and wanted and we care about you 🙂

    Maddie

    Kevingrant3388
    March 20, 2017 at 9:02 pm #31147

    MaddieBianca

    I’m trying to cope with depression, very bad suicidal thoughts, self-hate, and anxiety. ( there’s one more but I don’t remember) How I’m trying to cope with them is playing guitar, listening to music, and sometimes going outside and riding something. Thank you for trying and saying something.

    Nathanel

    I will start trying to have a journal and just write my thoughts out as best as I can. Most of the time it overwhelms me so much that I don’t know what to write down because I feel like just breaking down when I can’t. I’ll try to write them down as best as I can though when I feel all of it.

    Nate Hilpert
    March 21, 2017 at 10:07 am #31149

    Kevingrant3388,

    Man, sucks to be at a place where you feel like you’ve got this better direction to head, like someone’s given you advice that’s supposed to help, and you feel like you’re failing at doing it…it makes you feel sad, which compounds your underlying problems and makes them worse, and you want to talk to people about it so that you can feel comforted, but feels like everyone’s away, so you have no one to talk to, so then you feel even MORE lonely, and it makes you feel like you’ve got this huge emotional weight with no one to help you shoulder it….and bro, that’s a tough place to be…makes you feel like you might collapse under the weight, and you feel like you’re honestly giving it your all and trying to make things better, and you just are ready for the weight to not feel like you’re going to crush underneath it…you want to get to that place where you feel you can hold it up and be okay….and maybe in the meantime, have someone get under it with you and shoulder the burden so that you can recover and find your footing again.

    And man, gotta say, again, it’s pretty impressive that even amidst the crazy weight you’re facing that you’re not buckling…that you have the courage to hold on, to reach out for help, and continue to fight even though you feel like you’re against insurmountable odds. I know it probably doesn’t feel this way because you’re the one stuck under the boulder, but to us on the outside, man, it looks like you’ve got some serious fight in you.

    Especially when you’re crumbling under the pressure, what’s interesting is that you start to lose belief in yourself that you have the ability to hold it up…you feel like you’re panicking — like shit, if I don’t get some help or do something different, I’m going to get flattened by this thing…and in that moment, that fear, that panic, that anxiety, that desperation, you take your fight and your strength and your energy away from lifting the boulder and you start looking around for help and freaking out because you feel like there is none.

    But what’s interesting, what I’m perceiving about you through your different posts and different things that you’re up to, is that I think you’ve actually got the strength to lift the boulder right now. Maybe not throw it around like it’s a football, but man, you’ve got some internal grit, and I think that if you chose to believe in yourself, that you’d be able to muscle it up and off of you for a moment so you can et a breather and a better look around at what’s going on so you could evaluate and learn and grow on how to carry it more in the future, or how to make the boulder less heavy, or how to pick up a different boulder so it’s not as damn heavy. But man, I think you’ve got more in you than you think you do. I think you’ve got steam, reserves, and everything it takes to face this trial and conquer it. It might not be clean, or perfect, or instantaneous, or anything, but I DO think that you will win this fight, and that you’ll be even stronger at the end of it.

    Taking this out of metaphor land and moving it into real life…what I’d say is stop turning away from your fears and looking for other people or situations or things to cope with and escape it….look at them — what is it you’re afraid of? Why are you afraid of it? Often times, when you face your fears, and you put words to them, and you look them in the eyes, they’re not as scary as you think. It’s when they’re UNKNOWN — THAT is when they have power over you. So face them. Name them. Understand them. And when you do, I think you’ll realize you have more strength than they do, and you’ll have what it takes to throw this burden of a boulder off of you and find freedom and relief and confidence in your own strength, brother.

    God speed and blessings. You got this, Kevin.

    -Nate

    Kevingrant3388
    March 22, 2017 at 7:39 am #31158

    Thank you a lot Nate for those words. I’m trying to get the boulder, pick it up and carry it on. Thank you so much for everything you’ve helped me with I really appreciate all of what you’ve helped me with.

    DanBernard317
    March 22, 2017 at 2:17 pm #31168

    Kevin,
    So proud of you for posting here. I know we’ve emailed back and forth quite a bit and it sounds like you’re getting a lot of support here as it is, so I’ll just contribute and say KEEP IT UP. Keep fighting, because you’re never fighting alone. As you can see you have all these people here rooting for you, and you know you have the support from the community on Twitch as well. You’re such a brave person going through what you’ve been through and sharing your feelings here. We’re all so proud of you my friend. Stay strong. Hold Fast.

    -Dan

    Kevingrant3388
    March 22, 2017 at 6:43 pm #31178

    I will Dan. Thank you for everything by the ways, and thank you for rooting for me.

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