• Hannibals_dinnerplate
    July 15, 2017 at 12:46 pm #33060

    I am old and decrepit
    I am tainted to the very core
    My roots are withered and my foundation is crumbling.
    My flame is flickering and dying.
    My light is just about to go out.

    I feel smothered, though there’s plenty of air around me. I feel weighted down, though nothing restrains me.
    I feel as if there is a river of tears waiting to burst from me, though nothing will come to the surface.

    I am unfortunately coming down from substance use from last night, and this is the lowest I think I have ever felt from it. I feel pretty suicidal, though I don’t think anything will happen. I feel lower than the dirt right now, and the above writings are just some thoughts that came to me to maybe help explain how I felt. I have never felt this low before. All I ask is for some encouragement. I am in desperate need of some right now.

    sarg4zoe
    July 16, 2017 at 12:42 am #33066

    Idk if it’s too late but I just wanted to let you know that it will get better. Suicidal thoughts are acceptable, but I pray you don’t act on them. Don’t let the stuff get to you. Wait it out and surround yourself by your loved ones. Don’t put yourself in a situation where you will feel more sad and depressed. You can do it. I know you can. I know you are atleast trying because you posted. Don’t give up, okay? Don’t lose faith in yourself because even though it may feel low rn, we all make mistakes and we all recover from them. Wait it out. It will be tough, just don’t give up.

    AVJR
    July 16, 2017 at 1:28 am #33069

    Hannibals_dinerplate, I encourage you to listen The Beast Within by KLANK. I hope this song will speak to you. Have a great night. 🌃

    http://music.klanknation.com/track/the-beast-within

    Hannibals_dinnerplate
    July 16, 2017 at 9:00 am #33072

    Sarg,

    It’s not too late. I’m still here. Thank you for the kind words. I talked to two very amazing people yesterday and they helped out tremendously. I waited out the feeling, and after having felt it nearly all day it began to subside a bit during the night. I really appreciate your encouragement.

    AVJR, thank you for the music. I will give it a listen today.

    Much appreciated to you both.

    ashandis
    July 16, 2017 at 1:09 pm #33074

    Hannibals

    You truly are a special human. I feel that has I have been apart of this community I see you each stream or in the wall and often you come to my mind as of late. So here goes my reply. Your life is worth living. Yes you fell this time but what can you do different to prepare for next time. I know that it may seem hard to pick back up and fight it all over again. However, in the end it will be worth it. One day you will have the largest impact on someone else’s life by truly sharing your story. Sharing how much you have overcome. Continue to fight my friend because truly you are a blessing wrapped in what seems like a mess but it is all just a puzzle being worked through Gods amazing Hands. Each and every day learn to fight this with a stronger fight. Each and every time find something that wasnt there the last time and build it. Build your wall to be stronger and better. To know that you can do this. You are surrounding yourself with people who care about you. That is awesome. You truly are talented and kind. Dont stop letting yourself spread what you have. I cherish the chance to see you speak in stream. You make stream apart of what it is for me. Dont stop fighting and dont give up on that fight because you truly are important. This fight is important. Thank you for being open and honest.

    Make a new plan but I truly hope those plans arent needed. But a safety net is very important to have so make a safety net. Not sure if it the friends you have currently if so maybe stop being around them. Dont be around the things that lead to this.

    Ash

    Evan9171
    July 16, 2017 at 11:14 pm #33078

    I was there a week ago I totally know how you feel, it will pass with time. For encouragement you have helped me through some tough stuff with out even knowing it you are very important here. Just like you told me do your best.

    Evan.

    Hannibals_dinnerplate
    July 17, 2017 at 9:32 am #33081

    Ashandis,

    Girl you always have such wise words to say. You are so encouraging and a true blessing to people. Thank you so so much for those loving words. I definitely needed to hear them.

    Evan,

    I am super glad I have been there to help you through some rough times, it gives my heart great joy to hear that. It’s really incredible how well we understand each other’s situation, and you’re right, I will do my best. Thank you both so so much.

    ashandis
    July 17, 2017 at 12:31 pm #33083

    Hannibal

    You are more than welcome. You truly deserve those kind words. I hope something starts looking up for you.

    Ash

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