• jdubluv
    May 17, 2017 at 11:56 am #31898

    Hi everyone! Unlike many Christian women, it was not my dream from a young age to marry and have children, or build a godly home. I was adventurous and always on the run. I was involved in missions after college, but often felt that the way I was going about “living out my faith” was inauthentic by having intentions to convert others and “bring Jesus in.” Throughout my adult life, I have toured through occult practices and gnostic/mystical teachings about Christ. None of it satisfied, and underneath I always carried a thirst for the simplicity of my First Love, Jesus– the foundation of my faith. Now that I am 41, I am dissatisfied with living so long for myself and my seeking. I do have a measure of contentedness, but my biggest dream now is to glorify God through marriage and homemaking! It seems ridiculous in the natural– I wasn’t well trained in domestic arts growing up; I love to work hard and I would love to pour my strength and talents into my home life. Of course, as a single woman in a typically isolationist society, I have to work outside (thank God for a job as a baker!) on a meager income, and my home does not yet reflect the radiance and comfort or hospitality I dream of. It feels like I am in no way qualified– I don’t have experience, there are tons of areas with much room for growth, and I often feel like an orphan– a “middle aged” woman who wants to learn better how to cook well, design and decorate, all on a small small salary and needing wisdom in how to ascertain the things which God has placed in my heart. I read a post to which Ben sledge responded about consecrated relationships and sex before marriage. That, too, is an area I have always “wanted” to keep pure but never did…even up until just 2 months ago. But now I am sick of compromise. It seems an unlikely prospect– an older woman without solid home based skills, suddenly wanting to flip the script in the hope of receiving and co-building what I think is the greatest earthly inheritance of her Father…a loving home, in which His presence is felt, smelled, tasted and enjoyed. I want that rhythm…shalom!

    idanonymity
    May 17, 2017 at 5:54 pm #31908

    I could teach you but I would end up holding your hand. Attempt one task at a time. I guess provide your e-mail and potential suitors can write you.

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